In Tuesday Tips # 1 I shared 2 key questions you should ask when you’re thinking about building a new relationship:
1. What will this relationship give me?
2. How can I add value to this relationship? How can I care?
It is key to know what we want out of them if we want to improve them. Also, we need to know what we’re willing to give in order for that relationship to work. Healthy and sustainable relationships are win-win.
A couple of examples below of what you can get and give in different relationships:
– Familiar: mom. She can give you love and support, and you can help her out walking the dog or washing the dishes
– Friendship: best friend. He can help you have a good time and give you great advice, and you can invite him for lunch.
– Romantic: partner. She can give you love and connection, and you can buy her a red rose and a balloon.
– Business: key client. He can purchase your service or products, and you can connect him with a great consultant.
– Growth: trainer. I can pay him and get to the trainings on time.
All of the relationships above are different. However, they all require attention if you want to get the best out of them.
Sometimes, we may have great intentions, but add value in a way that may not be effective.
Imagine this situation:
Mike wants to have Peter as a mentor. Peter is a recognized online marketer who happens to be a multi-millionaire. Peter is a voracious reader, values his time and loves coffee. Peter doesn’t particularly do any kind of counseling or coaching. He doesn’t need the money.
If you were Mike, what would you do?
1. Tell Peter: Can you mentor me, please? I can pay you.
2. Tell Peter: Hi Peter, I know you’re busy and I respect your time. I’m really interested in having a cup of coffee with you to discuss a book about online marketing. You’re great at it, and would love to have your opinion on it. When could you possibly be available?
I know right. It’s obvious. But a lot of people would go for the first one, and not even think about the second one.
There are different ways to maintain and nurture relationships. The most important thing is the will take action towards better relationships.
Below some examples:
– Invite the person to hang out periodically to catch up and talk
– Listen carefully for what they have to say
– Give the person advice when needed
– Connect the person with other people who can be useful
– Create a weekly meeting to hold the other person accountable
– Plan trips with the other person
– Give the other person gifts
– Say sorry when appropriate
– Support their best interests
There are a million different ways to sustain a healthy relationship. This won’t be hard if you’re clear about why that person is important to you.
Remember, giving is the first step to receiving(even if you don’t receive all the time, you’ll get way more than you would if you stopped giving).